Souldancer Revision Log

It's taken twelve years of intermittent work to write a version of Souldancer conforming to the norms of contemporary novel format. I'd like to share a few insights on the process.

I composed the first draft of the novel ten years ago after a long, collaborative world building project. I figure it took me about two and a half years to finish that draft. Being my first attempt at a novel manuscript, the first version teemed with amateur mistakes. Bloated by redundant exposition on every page, reams of purple prose, and only the faintest hint of a story structure, the original MS weighed in at 300,000 words (1135 typed pages).

I still can't believe I found stalwart souls willing to beta read that monster, but I did; and I'm forever grateful for their efforts.

I attempted sporadic revisions from 2005 until 2010, when Nick inspired me to get serious about writing. Looking at what I'd written confronted me with another rookie mistake: I'd started backwards. Or rather in the middle. My extensive world building had yielded four books' worth of notes, and Souldancer actually comes second in the planned continuity.

I resolved to start over and began work on Nethereal, the first volume in the cycle. Two years and three revisions later, I'd refined the story into a satisfactory form. Building on this foundation I revisited the Souldancer project. The futility of a line edit soon became clear, and I decided to redraft the MS.

Starting from scratch gave me the chance to correct structural flaws and clean up the prose. My chief working principles were (in no particular order):

• Narrative flow and economy.
• Logical story structure informed by theme.
• Believable, organic character development and motivation.
• Maintaining conflict, tension, and tight pacing.

Again drafting one chapter at a time, I gradually became aware that the book's page count was shrinking. Soon I noticed that this phenomenon had become truly dramatic (I was writing action on page 50 that occurred on page 100 in the original draft). Not until I compiled each chapter into the new MS did I learn just how effective my streamlining had been.

• Original Souldancer MS (second revision): 300,000 words, 1135 pages.
• Current Souldancer MS: 88,000 words, 370 pages.

What amazes me is that, besides a few tangents and extraneous subplots, I cut very few scenes from the original version. The current MS covers the same principal action in almost exactly one-third of the space. Even better, I don't think the narrative feels rushed; just faster paced.

I'll let you know what the beta readers say.

Third Person Variable

I haven't been resting on my laurels since submitting my manuscript. On Nick's advice, I've decided to switch my novel's viewpoint from third person omniscient to variable third person limited.

The first reason I'm overhauling the manuscript's narrative mode is the original version's tendency--pointed out by Nick--to stray toward third person limited. Secondly, the story derives much of its effect from suspense. It's difficult to justify withholding the kind of information that proper tension-building requires when the narrator knows everything.

The experiment is working out well so far. The narrative flow feels much tighter and more streamlined, and describing the observations and thoughts of only one character at a time helps the reader identify with each POV character more strongly.

Gold

Jersey Devil Press just accepted "Beta Geminorum" for publication. Thanks to them, Nick, Merrilee, Mick, JJ, Ben, and everyone who's given me advice and encouragement.

Next we query editors and agents about the novel.

NPI: Conclusion

Well, the Novel Push Initiative over at 5-Rings is over. I put in a decent second place showing, but my hat's off to everyone who participated, especially Ryan G. Sanders, who blew me away. He is not unlike some kind of machine that writes.

Nick said that I can keep going if I want. Since I'd been writing every day for nine months before NPI started, I see no reason not to continue.So I will.

Update: the latest revision of Nethereal is up to page 385, and the total page count is currently 659 down from 737. I've noticed that I reduce the page count by one every day from removing unnecessary dialogue and exposition alone. If this trend continues, I should be done in six weeks. Then it's on to polishing up "Beta Geminorum" for resubmission.