Things I Hope My Nephew Learns from Me

Christmas seemed like an appropriate time for an update. I've mostly constrained myself to comments about writing and the literary industry in general. However, the only two news items in those areas pertaining to me are 1: I persist in writing every day and 2: I am waiting for already sold works to be published.

So, I beg your kind indulgence while I list (in no particular order) various tidbits of life experience I hope to impart to my nephew.

1. Value intangible goods over material goods. Humans are spiritual beings and discounting or denying that fact neglects a whole dimension of one's life. The exclusive pursuit of wealth and its temporal fruits tends to leave a person dissatisfied, jaded, and restless.

2. Don't be afraid to play with knives and fire. The best way to learn something is to do it--even moreso for something useful. I don't advocate the reckless pairing of children and sharp objects, but fostering ingenuity under proper supervision is far better than instilling irrational fear under the guise of protection.

3. You can't be "anything you want to be" when you grow up. This old chestnut is a popular platitude on daytime kids' TV and in elementary schools, even though it's demonstrably false. I for one would gladly have traded the stress and confusion engendered by this "liberating" bit of misinformation for more structure and guidance. Alex Cross had it right. It's, "you do what you are," not "you are what you do".

4. You are not the most important person in existence, which correlates nicely with:

5. Everyone is not equal. But that doesn't give you the right to belittle or use others. In fact, it's really humbling if you think about it. No matter how good you are at something, there's always someone better. But that's OK, because...

6. Your value as a human being doesn't depend on your worldly success. Not everyone is equal, but every person is equally valuble. Striving to be #1 is fine, but considering point 5 above, being #18 is perfectly acceptable if you've given it your best shot.

7. When you try your best, you can still fail anyway. Avoid the trauma of having real life violently burst your sense of entitlement by not developing one in the first place. Despite what literally every sports movie would have you believe, it is quite possible to follow all the rules, give your all, and still come up short--the first few times. The trick is persistence.

8. Be really sure before pursuing a four-year degree. Probably the most practical piece of advice here. A lot of folks in your grandparents' generation will insist that attending a university is mandatory. They have your best interests at heart, but that information only applied from ca. 1960-1995. The cost of higher education has risen so high as to negate the earnings advantage of a degree compared to just starting work after high school.

I'm not trying to discourage anyone from getting a four-year degree in general. I'm just cautioning aspiring university students to be absolutely sure about their calling before accepting a financial obligation that will affect the rest of their lives. Go for it if you know what you were meant to do and doing it requires a bachelor's degree. On the other hand, if you aren't sure, there's an abundance of fine junior colleges which will impart the foundational knowledge needed to operate as a functional human being in our society. They're also far cheaper than universities. If you still don't receive the epiphany that launches you on the path of your vocation, go and take whatever job seems least odious to you.

9. Don't confuse your job with your calling. Your vocation is like the Blues Brothers' proverbial "mission from God". It's the passionate endeavor that you'd gladly do for free but can hopefully identify and get paid for. Really, you can exercise your calling in pretty much any job. It just takes a little discernment and creativity.

10. Don't become obsessed with avoiding suffering. Though I've already refuted one tired aphorism, there's another, even more cliched axiom that I heartily endorse: "no pain, no gain". The lengths to which most people will go to avoid the least bit of discomfort are readily apparent. Don't become a masochist, but avoid the temptation to self-medicate via the myriad means available. Learn to work through trials and setbacks to make yourself more resilient. Fostering a healthy level of self-denial and learning to savor delayed gratification will make you happier in the long run.

After the Drought: When it Rains, it Pours

I'm back with important updates on two short story submissions.

First, editor Mike Sweeney over at Jersey Devil Press has given me a conditional release date of January 3 for their next issue, featuring my first short story "Beta Geminorum". Many thanks to him again.

Secondly, my second  short story "Reign of Terror" has been accepted for publication in Title Goes Here:. That story is slated to appear in the upcoming April issue. Again, I owe a big debt of thanks to editor Inanna Gabriel.

And as always, thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read my manuscripts and to everyone reading this.